Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Neruda week: Afternoon

Afternoon, sonnet XLIV (44)

You must know that I do not love and that I love you,
because everything alive has its two sides;
a word is one wing of the silence,
fire has its cold half.

I love you in order to begin to love you
to start infinity again
and never to stop loving you:
that is why I do not love you yet.

I love you, and I do not love you, as if I held
keys in my hand: a future of joy – 
a wretched, muddled fate –

My love has two lives, in order to love you:
that is why I love you when I do not love you,
and also why I love you when I do.

Now this is a confusing poem. And you have to read it slowly, and over again. And again. And suddenly it becomes clear to you, crystal clear, that the poet is as confused about his love as you are. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me….
I love her, I do not, I love her, I do not…
It’s Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. Nerduda died before the song, but: do you love me forever, what’s it gonna be boy, yes or, or, or? In order to start infinity again and never to stop loving you: that is why I do not love you yet. Poetry isn’t dull, it’s exciting as life itself. Do I really love her for all times? Now this was Neruda’s third marriage so forever…? He knew the limits of forever. 
And yet, I love you when I do not love you and I love you when I do. Can’t help it. Even when I don’t want to, I still love you. 

My love has two lives, in order to love you: that is why I love you when I do not love you, and also why I love you when I do. That makes me quiet.

3 comments:

  1. This one is a crazy poem, but still beautifull . No , life is not easy.
    I like your explanation

    Take care,
    Mona Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is one of my favourite poems. I like the confusion and if you read it over and over again you see the beauty, hidden but breathtaking.

      Delete

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